the next best thing is to date someone and hope you absorb some of them by osmosis….Why not be inspired by your partner, I say, screaming into the woods, alone! I believe there is a lot of joy in that.” (pg. 99-100) From New Yorker and Onion writer and comedian Blythe Roberson, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a comedy philosophy book aimed at interrogating what it means to date men within the trappings of modern society. given the title it's obv very heterocentric although she does occasionally mention pieces of advice from her gay friends. She's also not really trying to do anything universal.

Her opinion of Jane Austen's male characters is nuts. While Mr. Darcy could be viewed as not very nice (which is a misconception and one of the central points of Pride and Prejudice but whatever - maybe it would have helped if she hadn't apparently just watched the movie but actually read the book), Austen's other male leads are true gentlemen. Just think of Captain Wentworth! They do what other male people in the stories should but don't. Seriously, Austen's characters are complex and there are assholes of both genders just like in real life. And yet, this author criticizes how so many women love Jane Austen and then of course fall for the wrong men. Sorry, what?! How about 50 Shades of Garbage if you need a horrible example?! The same goes for Tom Hanks' character in You've Got Mail. I found other chunks bewildering; for example I have never as an adult woman spent much time frantically wondering if something was a date the way Blythe apparently does It is entirely men's and the patriarchy's fault that she likes to stare at good-looking men. In fact, her staring at and drooling over good-looking man is one of the ways she is being oppressed. While she is criticizing men when they stare at and drool over women because that is objectification. What did I get in reality? The account of an apparently bitter woman who (according to her own statements) can't stay in a relationship because as soon as someone shows interest, she runs (and when men don't show interest, she makes embarrassing declarations).It didn't help that my own dating experiences (and just general opinions about romance and dating) differ wildly from Roberson's. How To Date Men When You Hate Men is an incredibly funny read that was surely not written when Blythe was supposed to be working for me." - Stephen Colbert When too many men are monopolizing the headlines with their reprehensible behavior, Roberson takes a closer look at the system that breeds and normalizes this bad behavior, and guides us through the perils of dating — from crushes to break-ups — with a healthy dose of heart, humor, and feminism." — PAPER Magazine You know that cute romantic phrase people say sometimes – “you make me want to be a better person”? Yeah, it’s like that. Your partner should inspire you to be greater. Your partner should motivate you to develop an admirable character.

Book Genre: Adult, Autobiography, Essays, Feminism, Humor, Memoir, Nonfiction, Relationships, Self Help, Womens, Writing Even once I realized this was meant to be full-on humor, if not outright satire of the self-help genre, I was disappointed. Meanwhile, men are finally learning that it’s actually not cool to act like giant, predatory chodes to every female-presenting human they encounter. Listen, I don’t feel sympathy for men who ruin women’s lives because they decide they have a right to the body, time, or labor of any woman they want. But I can understand why the average man might feel unsteady and confused, seeing as all media and authority figures have told them their whole lives that it was fine for them to behave in a certain way, a way that doesn’t really take female agency or interiority or personhood into consideration. Men read a lot of J. D. Salinger and grew up on Annie Hall, I get it! Please, men, have a seat in my cacti-and-throw-pillow-strewn salon and take a read on how it feels to love from the other side of things. Use it as a template for how to love women and how to flirt and be sexual in a way that won’t ruin women’s lives, or—and this is such a recent possibility—your life! Learn how the algorithm we’ve been coded into works, and help us change it. Forgotten the title or the author of a book? Our BookSleuth is specially designed for you. Visit BookSleuth

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Dating has always involved strategy, some level of analysis and consideration of another person’s position. This can be tedious and fraudulent, but it can also be productive. In writing you might call it structure; in relationships, compromise. Both are necessary to communicate and deal with other people, not only because no one will ever care as much about what you want as you do, but also because without them the world would be a screaming crowd of unmet needs. The best dating advice I’ve ever given was to a man who wouldn’t leave me alone: You can ask for whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get it. I’m going to be that person in their 30s who says something about someone in their 20s as if I am so removed from that time period: if you are in your 20s, most things make no sense, but thank sweet baby Jesus that Blythe Roberson’s How to Date Men When You Hate Men exists, and it’s something I wish I had during that time. Funny, sharp, and feminist fun in a way we’re led to believe isn’t possible. You’ll have a blast reading this and then date...or not date anyone because you are living your best single life with new best friend Roberson by your side.” - Phoebe Robinson, New York Times bestselling author of You Can't Touch My Hair

seemed to be an example of a genre that I think of as "printed off blog entries" even though this was never originally a blog. like I'm just on the cusp of being like, are we okay with just including AIM-style verbs like "*prints off blog entry*" in books now? I guess we are? Men oppress us; we also want to smooch them. Blythe manages to not only laugh at the pain of holding these two truths at once, but to find meaning, inspiration and empowerment in it. I’ve brought this book up in 1,000 conversations since I read it." - Hallie Bateman, illustrator of What to Do When I'm Gone With biting wit, Roberson explores the dynamics of heterosexual dating in the age of #MeToo." — The New York TimesI do not want to turn this review into a rant but, in one section she writes about how wrong it is when dudes, on a scale of one to ten rate women on the basis of their appearance, it’s disrespecting and impudent and then herself proceeds to rate men based on their ‘hotness’ 🤦‍♀️ She also thinks keeping a tab of all her crushes by making an excel spreadsheet is cool. Imagine a guy boasting about this, he would be immediately doomed a creepo by our society …. Where is the equality now? This fake feminism in which privileged cis women are allowed to behave like creeps in the name of rightness, is what I feel extremely wrong. My "favourite" point of hers was how women, considering for how long we (she loved saying that as if she had been there for it all from the start) have been oppressed, should get at least a few hundred years to do to men what men have done to us. Uh-huh. This is the exact bullshit I so despise about sooo many feminists. We'll never get equality as long as such nonsensical opinions are floating around. This is as bad as if gay people decided to treat straight people horribly out of revenge.