Nimbi FM, Viozzi E, Tripodi F, Simonelli C, Baiocco R. Could educational programs in sexology have an influence on attitudes towards same-sex marriage and parenting? Sexologies. 2020; in press, online published. doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sexol.2020.01.001 Nordling N, Sandnabba NK, Santtila P, Alison L. Differences and similarities between gay and straight individuals involved in the sadomasochistic subculture. J Homosex. 2006;50(2–3):41–57. https://doi.org/10.1300/J082v50n02_03. Parsons JT, Starks TJ, DuBois S, Grov C, Golub SA. Alternatives to monogamy among gay male couples in a community sample: implications for mental health and sexual health. Arch Sex Behav. 2013;42:303–12. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-011-9885-3. Be present with your partner and take your time.’ She adds, ‘Make sure you are clear on consent. And then explore and have fun!’ Communicating with your partner Hirshfield S, Chiasson M, Wagmiller R, Remien R, Humberstone M, Scheinmann R, et al. Sexual dysfunction in an internet sample of U.S. men who have sex with men. J Sex Med. 2010;7:3104–14. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01636.x.

One day the Lord was pleased by a strange providence to cast me into the company of one that I never saw before, but of a sweet and free disposition…………. It pleased the Lord to carry our hearts much towards one another at that time……[82]Drumright LN, Strathdee SA, Little SJ, Araneta MRG, Slymen DJ, Malcarne VL, et al. Unprotected anal intercourse and substance use before and after HIV diagnosis among recently HIV-infected men who have sex with men. Sex Transm Dis. 2007;34(6):401–7. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.olq.0000245959.18612.a1. Downey JI, Friedman RC. Internalized homophobia in lesbian relationships. J Am Acad Psychoanal. 1995;23(3):435–47. Scott SB, Ritchie L, Knopp K, Rhoades GK, Markman HJ. Sexuality within female same-gender couples: definitions of sex, sexual frequency norms, and factors associated with sexual satisfaction. Arch Sex Behav. 2018;47(3):681–92. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-1077-3. Matthews AK, Tartaro J, Hughes TL. A comparative study of lesbian and heterosexual women in committed relationships. J Lesbian Stud. 2002;7(1):101–14. https://doi.org/10.1300/J155v07n01_07.

Welling LL, Singh K, Puts DA, Jones BC, Burriss RP. Self-reported sexual desire in homosexual men and women predicts preferences for sexually dimorphic facial cues. Arch Sex Behav. 2013;42(5):785–91. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-012-0059-8. Continuing with the pastoral in On a Juniper-Tree, cut down to make Busks, the persona of the poem is a tree which allowsallowing Behn a degree of detachment in her examination of social identity. The tree is proud: ‘The Pride and Glory of the Wood,’;[210] wealthy: ‘My Wealth, like bashful Virgins,’[211] ,where the tree is describing thus his wealth rather than claiming ownership of the virgins, and does not even rely on the sun: “nor need any tribute pay/for bounties from the God of Day.’[212] through this description of By describing the tree, like this Behn would appear to be representinggendering the tree as male although typically for Behn she does not gender itthe tree through the use of grammar or female/male gendered pronouns. As the lovers Philocles and Cloris shelter under itthe tree, the lovers and the tree become interdependent and the planttree even participates in their love making: ‘And every aiding Bough I bent/So low, as sometimes had the bliss/To rob the shepherd of his kiss.’[213] Behn combines the pastoral setting, in the form of the tree, with human sexuality: ‘blurring the issues of the tree’s individual gender identity into its larger social identity.’[214] The planttree enjoys the voyeuristic thrill of watching the lovers: ‘I saw ‘em kindle to desire/Whilst with soft sights they blew the fire.’[215] Then the tree in effect it becomes part of a ménage á trois[216] as it joins in with the Philocles and Cloris’s love making: ‘The Shepherdess my Bark carest/Whilst he my Root, Love’s pillow, kist.’[217] At this point the tree becomes both male and female, both ‘Bark’ and ‘Root.’ A close reading of this line suggests that Behn disrupts traditional ideas of binary oppositions. Cloris (female) is caressing the female part of the tree while Phiocles (male) is kissing the male part of the tree, assuming that ‘root’ is a phallic image. At the end of the poem, when the tree grieves that it will no longer be part of the lovers, it decides it may as well die: ‘When all abandon’d I shall be/Doom’d to a silent Destine.[218] However, Cloris cuts down the tree and has it made into busks: ‘My body into Busks was turn’d’[219] so the tree ends up as the wooden front piece of Cloris’s corset that covered the centre of her torso down to her genitalia. The new role that the tree is given is to literally guard Cloris’s ‘Love Temple’ or sexuality: ‘Where I still guard the Sacred Store/And of Loves Temple keep the Door.’[220] Through the relationship between the lovers and the tree Behn ‘opens and expands the possibilities of love and its connections with the natural world moving it beyond a relationship of opposition to one of community.’[221] Within this poem we find Behn’s use of the tree to articulate what could not otherwise be said and a triangle of desire between the tree and the two lovers. Platteau T, Nöstlinger C, Schrooten W, Kenyon C, van Lankveld JJ, Colebunders R, et al. Sexual inactivity among men who have sex with men living with hiv in Europe. Int J Sex Health. 2015;27(2):83–92. https://doi.org/10.1080/19317611.2014.956852.In a poem to Lucasia she describes the frustration of being near to a woman who cannot return her love, where Philips’s love is ‘hot’ and Lucasia’s is ‘cold’: Patterson CJ. Family relationships of lesbians and gay men. J Marriage Fam. 2000;62:1052–69. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.01052.x. Pachankis JE, Rendina HJ, Restar A, Ventuneac A, Grov C, Parsons JT. A minority stress—emotion regulation model of sexual compulsivity among highly sexually active gay and bisexual men. Health Psychol. 2015;34(8):829–40. https://doi.org/10.1037/hea0000180. In the office, nothing changed. Both of us swore not to tell anyone else. I dodged questions from friends about my relationship status like bullets - the lies were worth it for the delirium I felt when I was with her.